


I Wanna Love You Like I've Never Been Broken

by khaleesiq



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Off-screen Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 08:38:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khaleesiq/pseuds/khaleesiq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Katniss returns home from winning the Hunger Games, the only person who can comfort her is Gale. However, Katniss is too afraid to let him in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Love You Like I've Never Been Broken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elduderino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elduderino/gifts).



> This is dedicated to my lovely sister who complained about not having enough Katniss/Gale fics to read. I've never written anything for this fandom and I don't really ship them (I'm sorry, but I am a dedicated Katniss/Peeta shipper) so sorry if this isn't that great. I hope you enjoy it anyway!
> 
> Title taken from the song "Unbroken" by Demi Lovato

The train pulls up to the station with a shrill screeching sound that makes Gale cringe. He bites his lip as he waits for her to step off of the train, glancing over at Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. Prim looks just as anxious as Gale is to see Katniss again, but it's a different kind of anxiousness than his. Where Prim is more excited to see her beloved sister again, Gale is nervous and slightly reluctant.

Gale knows that Katniss is going to be a completely different person from the one who would go out beyond the fence and hunt with him. Who would spend hours every morning talking and just enjoying spending time with him.

This Katniss that will be stepping off the train in just moments will be the one that went through a week of arduous training to kill other kids. This is the Katniss that spent days trapped in an arena, struggling to kill or be killed. This is the Katniss that watched two of the few people she's ever gotten close to in her life die in the in the most gruesome of ways right before her eyes.

This is the Katniss who saw Peeta die less than a foot away from her after they had finally gotten to really know each other.

He knows how fucked up Katniss is going to be now that she's back. He knows that going through something like that has got to change a person. And he's hoping that they'll still be close enough, even after the Hunger Games, that she'll let him comfort her and help her through this.

He tenses as the train's doors open and Katniss steps out and onto the platform. He freezes at the sight of her. He had known that she would be different, but he wasn't prepared for how different she would _look_.

She looks worn out and tired, like she hadn't slept in days. And, well, she probably hasn't to be quite honest. The paleness of her skin, paired with the dark circles under her eyes, make her appear to be so much older than her sixteen years.

Gale has never wanted to hold her as much as he does right now.

He watches as Katniss scans the crowd, her eyes glazing over everyone until they stop on Gale and her family. And they small smile that appears on her face at the sight of them makes Gale's heart leap and his chest tighten in the best way.

She rushes toward them, immediately enveloping Prim in a heartfelt and emotional hug. Gale doesn't mind. In fact, he understands that the first person Katniss would run to would be her little sister.

It seems like ages before Katniss and Prim are finished hugging, and it's made worse by the fact that Katniss is so _close_ but Gale can't touch her, not yet.

Finally, Katniss detaches herself from her sister and turns to face Gale. They stare at each other, too amazed by seeing each other after what had seemed like forever. And Gale-- he reaches out for her, because it's been so long and he spent that entire time having nightmares and dreading her death. But she didn't die, she survived, and she's right here, and she's close enough to touch.

And Gale does. He pulls her into his chest and wraps his arms around her waist. Katniss winds her arms around his neck instantly, and tries to pull Gale even closer. Gale laughs softly, so utterly happy and content to have Katniss with him again, and buries his head in her neck.

"I missed you so much," Gale whispers, half hoping that Katniss doesn't hear him, but she does. She always hears him.

"Me too," she whispers back. "You have no idea, Gale, what it was like in there..."

He waits for her to finish, but she doesn't. He pulls away from her slightly, and looks at her. Her expression is closed off, like there are hundreds, thousands of thoughts racing through her mind at that moment, but she's unwilling to share them with anyone.

And that's fine with Gale. He gets it, that she doesn't think he'll understand any of what she's thinking right now, and that's okay. There have been thoughts of his own that he's sure Katniss won't, maybe never will, understand.

Katniss completely pulls away from him then without saying anything else to Gale, and goes to hug her mother. Gale turns to go home, because that was really the only reason why he came out here in the first place, to welcome Katniss back, and now that he's done that he has no reason to stay. At least, that's what he thinks until he hears Katniss' voice, hoarse and raspy, calling his name.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"Home," Gale answers. "You probably want to spend time with your family, and celebrate--"

Katniss shakes her head and takes a step closer to Gale. "But you are my family, Gale. And it wouldn't be much of a celebration without you."

Gale nods, and follows her absent-mindedly back to her home.

***

Their "celebration" is a morbid one. They have a bigger dinner than usual, which they can afford now that Katniss is a Victor. They celebrate Katniss' survival and their last night in this house before they move to the Victors' Village, but they do have a moment of silence for the families of the other tributes, the families of Rue and Peeta, because it would have been disrespectful not to.

After dinner, Mrs. Everdeen brings Prim to bed and then it's just Katniss and Gale. Even though Katniss has been his best friend for years, he's slightly uncomfortable being left alone with her. Partly because she's been silent and cold during the entire dinner, and also because watching her fight for her life, constantly worrying about whether she'll come home or not, has confirmed Gale's feelings for her. And he's afraid that he'll just blurt it out simply because they're alone.

"I should probably get going," Gale says as he stands up.

Katniss' voice is soft when she speaks, so unlike the strong and sure voice he's used to hearing. "You don't have to."

"It's getting late and my parents are probably wondering where I am," Gale responds. He really doesn't want to go, but he's sure that that's what Katniss wants.

He's proven wrong when Katniss speaks up again. "I'd rather you didn't." She looks up at him, and her expression is pleading, desperate almost. "Please don't leave me, Gale."

And Gale doesn't really have a choice, not when she's looking at him like that, not when he knows that she's terrified of losing Gale like she lost Peeta and Rue.

So Gale stays. He helps Katniss clear the table and wash the dishes. He watches as Katniss kisses Prim good night and says good night to her mother. He mutters his own good night to her just before she disappears behind the door of her room.

Gale spends the night on the couch in the living room. It's hardly comfortable, but Gale doesn't mind. He has to share a bed with one of his brothers at home, so in some way this is almost better.

He's woken up in the middle of the night when he hears screaming. It takes him a moment to remember that he's not in his own house, and when he does he realizes who the screaming is coming from, and he's up and running straight for Katniss' room.

He arrives at her door to see Prim standing in front of it. She gives Gale a worried look, bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Go back to bed, Prim," Gale tells her softly. "I'll take care of her."

Prim nods and heads back to her room while Gale goes inside Katniss' room. She's lying on the bed, thrashing and writhing as she lets out shrieks of terror. Gale rushes to her side and whispers, "Shh, it's okay. You're not the arena anymore, you're okay."

But Katniss continues to scream. Gale sighs and gets on the bed. He holds her arms down at her side, forceful, but still gentle, and waits for her to stop thrashing and kicking before he tries again with, "You're fine, you're okay, Katniss, _listen to me_."

Her eyes fly open and she shoots straight up in bed, clutching at her chest. Gale sits back and waits for her to collect herself before he says anything. She's gasping for breath, as if she had just run to the woods and back.

When her breathing finally becomes normal again, Gale says, "Hey Catnip."

Katniss jumps at his presence, but relaxes and smiles softly at the use of the familiar nickname. "I'm sorry about that, it's just--"

"Don't worry," Gale says, rubbing a hand up and down her back to help her calm down. "You've been through a lot. I understand."

Katniss shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut. "No, Gale, you don't understand." Her voice drops to a whisper. "You have no idea what I had to go through."

''Then help me understand," Gale insists. "I can't understand if you don't talk to me."

"Gale," Katniss says, shaking her head, "I want to, but it's-- hard. I just-- I can't talk about it right now. But I promise I will someday, okay?"

Gale nods, because he knows that that's the best he could ask for at the moment. He knows that it's going to take some time to get Katniss to open up about what happened to her during the Games.

Katniss lies back down and Gale takes that as his queue to leave. However, as soon as he reaches the door he hears a Katniss say, "Gale" softly.

Gale turns around and notices that she's wearing the same pleading and desperate look from earlier. Except this time there's something else there too. Fear.

"Yes?" Gale says.

"Will you--" Katniss starts, then shakes her head. "Nevermind, it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," Gale says, wants to say, _Everything matters when it comes to you_ , but he's not sure how Katniss would react to that.

"Will you stay with me?" Katniss asks hesitantly and quietly, like she doesn't want Gale to hear.

Gale doesn't even have to think about it. He nods and slips under the covers with her. He wraps his arms around her as she rests her head on his chest.

It's strange, Gale thinks. Katniss has always been the strong one, the one comforting Gale or assuring him that everything is going to be fine. Gale's not sure how Katniss feels about this, but he's finding that he doesn't mind all that much. He likes it a lot actually.

Just before he drifts off to sleep he thinks he hears Katniss whisper, "Thank you," and he hopes that it's not just his imagination.

***

Gale doesn't see Katniss again for another two weeks. He's eighteen now, so he begins working at the mines and he barely has any time for his family, let alone his best friend.

He sees her sometimes walking to the Hob or keeping Prim company on her way to school. He hasn't seen her sneaking off to the woods though. He wonders if maybe it's too soon for her to start hunting again, wonders if it's too much for her.

It hurts to think that she might never be able to hunt in the same way again because of the Games. That they've taken the thing that she loves most in the world (aside from her family, of course) and tainted it, made it something she is now afraid to do. It makes Gale seethe.

He wants to help Katniss, wants to make her who she used to be again. But he can't do that when neither one of them have any time for each other anymore. He longs for the days when they would both wake up just as the sun was rising, and sneak off beyond the fence to hunt for hours. He wants that again, no _needs_ it.

So he decides that one day they're going to do that again. He wakes up at the break of dawn on one of the very few days he has off from working at the mine, gets dressed, and heads for Katniss' new home in the Victors' Village.

It's not surprising at all that Gale has to wait some time for someone to answer the door. It's incredibly early in the morning, and everyone in the Everdeen household is most likely deeply asleep. And it's not surprising, either, that Katniss is the one to answer the door.

She looks worse than when he had seen her get off the train. The circles under her eyes are even darker, and she looks thin and frail, as if she hasn't eaten in days. Gale feels the guilt begin to eat away at him at the thought that he hasn't been there for her these past couple of weeks.

"What are you doing here, Gale?" she demands, a little harshly.

Gale winces at her tone, but tells himself that it has nothing to do with him, that she's just stressed and upset over what happened to her. "We're going hunting."

Her eyes widen at that and she shakes her head furiously. "No, Gale, I-- I can't. Not after the Games. It's-- it's too much."

"C'mon Catnip," Gale says, stepping inside the house. He uses the old nickname because he knows that it makes Katniss relax and feel better, even if it's not by much. "We need to get you back to your usual self. You don't have to shoot anything, just come out to the woods with me. Please."

Katniss looks at him, her eyes still wide and fearful, but she nods slowly anyway and mutters, "I'll be ready in a second. Just wait here."

Gale closes the door behind himself as he steps further inside the house and watches as Katniss hurries off to her room to get dressed. As scared as Katniss is to get out and hunt again, he knows that she's still excited to spend some time in the woods with Gale. He knows that she remembers how relaxing and good it felt to do that back before she left for the Games.

And he hopes that today he can give that back to her today.

She comes out wearing a brown jacket and small smile. It looks so foreign on her worn out features, but it comforts Gale nonetheless. He grins back at her and reaches for where her bow is resting against the door. Katniss places her hand on Gale's arm, stopping him from grabbing it. When he looks up at her she's shaking her head.

"Leave it," she says.

"What if--" Gale starts.

She continues to shake her head. "I can't pick it up again. Not yet."

Gale leaves it at that. He understands that if Katniss picks up a bow again she'll be reminded of the arena, of all the times she had to use the bow to defend herself and the two times she was forced to use it to save her own life.

The walk to the fence is spent in silence, but it's a comfortable sort of silence that only people who are familiar with each other can enjoy. Except Gale wants to break it, wants to say something to make them feel like best friends again. But it's like he can't remember how to be her best friend anymore.

And it hits him then, like a punch to the gut, that this space between them ever since she came back is only going to get bigger until they're no longer friends unless one of them does something about it. And Gale knows that Katniss isn't going to do anything about it, so it's up to him. But if he doesn't even remember how to talk to her anymore, how is he supposed to mend their friendship?

"Gale?"

Katniss' voice breaks him out of his reverie, and he realizes that they've reached the hole in the fence. He gives her a reassuring smile to let her know that everything is still alright, since he knows that that's what she needs most right now, constant reassurance that everything is, and will be okay.

They duck through the hole and head deep into the woods. They've spent so much time out here that they've practically covered the entire area, learned the best and worst hunting spots, and discovered which places are their favorites.

Gale doesn't hesitate in leading Katniss to her favorite place now. She smiles at the sight of the lake, and Gale's heart leaps for joy and he has a silent celebration at that.

They sit down at the edge of the lake and their silence continues. It's okay that they don't have anything to talk about, because Gale is content in just watching Katniss gazing out at the water, a soft smile playing at the edge of her lips.

"Do you remember," Katniss starts, then stops abruptly with a shake of her head.

"Remember what?" Gale prompts.

"I was just going to ask if you remembered the first time we went hunting," Katniss says, and Gale swears that she's blushing.

"Of course I remember," Gale tells her. He doesn't bother mentioning the fact that it was the day he realized that he didn't love Katniss as just a friend.

"Besides the first day my dad took me out hunting," Katniss says, "it was the happiest day of my life." She pauses and looks down at her hands before adding quietly, "It was one of the things that got me through the Games."

Gale's heart clenches in his chest at her words. He would be lying if he said that it didn't make him extremely happy that he was one of the things that kept Katniss going when she was in the arena.

Katniss looks back up at Gale and he no longer sees the carefree girl who loves to hunt and does whatever she wants, no matter what anyone else says. Instead he sees the girl who stood up and willingly offered her life for her sister. He sees the girl who spent days trapped in an arena with twenty-three other kids, fighting for her survival.

And what is he? Katniss is so much better than him in so many ways. And he's just a boy who works at a mine and is in love with his best friend.

"Gale?" Katniss says, and Gale notices that there's an amused smile on her face for the first time in what feels like forever. "What are you thinking about?"

Instead of answering her, Gale leans forward and presses his lips to hers. Katniss lets out a soft surprised sound at first, but it doesn't take long before she begins kissing him back. Gale brings his hand up to cup her face just as Katniss pulls away from him.

"I can't do this, Gale," she whispers. She buries her face in her hands and avoids looking at him.

"Why not?" Gale asks. "Katniss--"

"It's not fair to him," Katniss says, looking up at him again. That fearful look is back in her eyes again.

"Not fair to who?" Gale asks.

"Peeta," Katniss answers. "It's not fair to Peeta. He was in love with me, and here I am kissing you, and it's just not fair to him."

Gale wants to scream. Peeta is dead, but Katniss still cares more about him than Gale. He understands that she had to pretend to be in love with him to keep both of them alive (which didn't exactly work out in Peeta's favor), and that must have meant that Katniss had _some_ feelings for him, but that's over now. So why can't she just give Gale a chance?

"Katniss," he says slowly, "Peeta's dead."

Katniss stares at him, clearly offended, and Gale immediately wants to take back what he said. She shakes her head then, laughing sardonically, and stands up.

"Katniss, wait, I didn't mean it," Gale tries, but Katniss isn't having any of it.

"Fuck you, Gale," she spits. "I thought that you of all people would understand, but clearly you don't."

She walks away from him, and Gale rushes after her, calling, "Katniss-- Catnip, I'm sorry!"

At the fence she finally stops and whirls around, her glare shooting daggers into Gale's skin. "Look, I think we should just stop."

"Stop?" Gale asks, confused.

"Being friends," Katniss clarifies, and Gale tenses. "It's clear that we've both changed since I left, and we're too different now."

Gale shakes his head because this can't be happening, not now. "Katniss, please, you don't mean that."

Katniss looks down at the ground. "No, I don't think I do. But-- I think it would be best if you gave me some space." She lifts her head back up. "Just-- just until I'm back to normal."

She's not giving him a choice. He knows that this is the best option if the two of them ever want to redeem their friendship. So he nods and lets her walk away from him.

***

It's a hard thing to get used to, being away from Katniss. Before she left for the games, Gale would spend practically his entire day with her. But now, he spends his days working grueling hours at the mines, and just falling into bed as soon as he gets home, too exhausted to do anything else.

There are some days, though, that he wishes he could go to the Everdeens' house after he's done at the mines, and tell Katniss some funny story he heard from one of the men there, or have some of Mrs. Everdeen's cooking, which has always been so much better than his own mother's.

But he can't do that. Not because he often comes home too late to do much more than grab a small bite to eat so he can have a decent amount of sleep that night, but because of what Katniss said, how she needs her space.

And Gale isn't one to decide what is best for somebody, but he doesn't think that this is what is best for Katniss. She's spent so much time on her own, and she keeps so much to herself that one day she's going to go crazy if she doesn't tell someone what is on her mind.

And who better to tell than her best friend?

Prim is too young to understand the utter horror of what Katniss has been through, and she's never been able to share anything with her mother. But Gale-- Gale is mature enough to understand how awful Katniss' experience was, and he's the only one who will really listen to her.

But Katniss is the most stubborn person Gale has ever known. And there's no way he's going to get Katniss to tell him about what she's been through and help her feel better.

So Gale ignores the annoying voice in the back of his head that is perpetually telling him to go over to Katniss' home and check to see if she's doing alright. He continues on with his new routine of waking up at the break of dawn, going to the mines, coming home, and sleeping. It's a good routine, even if it is lonely and not as fulfilling as his old one with Katniss.

He's walking home one night, the sun having set long ago, when he sees a small, petite figure sitting on his porch. He frowns as he gets closer and realizes who it is.

"Prim?" he calls, and she lifts her head and offers him a small smile. "What are you doing here?"

Her smile falls from her face and she rubs her arms. Gale quickly shrugs off his coat, suddenly realizing how cold it is, and holds it out to her. She shakes her head and says, "I'm okay. But Katniss isn't."

Gale sighs. He should have known that this was about Katniss. Why else would Prim be sitting outside of Gale's home?

"What is it?" Gale asks.

"She can't sleep," Prim says, her voice quivering with worry. "And when she does sleep, she spends the whole night screaming from nightmares. She won't eat, she won't leave the house, she won't do _anything_ , Gale. It's like, all she can think about is the Games and what happened in the arena, and nothing my mom and I do can help."

"And you think that I can?" Gale almost laughs. "Prim, she told me that she wants nothing to do with me. She wants space from me. I hardly think that I'm the one to comfort her."

"Can you try?" Prim says, her voice small and soft. "Just please try. We've tried everything else and we just don't know what to do."

Gale bites his lip and hesitates for a moment before answering. He wants to, he really does, but he also doesn't want to end up disappointing Prim if he can't do it.

But the urge to help Katniss outweighs his fear and he ends up saying, "Fine. What would you have me do?"

***

Katniss is lying awake staring at the ceiling with wide, bloodshot eyes when Gale arrives. She doesn't notice him right away, not until Gale slips into bed beside her. She startles, but relaxes when she sees Gale. She sighs.

"I thought I told you to stay away from me," she says.

"And I thought you would understand that that's impossible for me to do," Gale retorts.

She closes her eyes and hesitates for a moment before moving closer to Gale and curling against his side. She rests her head on her chest and Gale can feel her even breaths against his collarbone as she does so. It calms him much more than he thinks it should.

Gale thinks she's fallen asleep when she murmurs, "I'm glad you didn't."

Gale is too.

***

Things don't go back to normal after that like Gale thought they would. But he thinks that he might like this better.

Sure, he doesn't spend his mornings hunting beyond the fence with Katniss anymore, but he does spend his nights curled up in her bed, listening to her even breaths and liking that he no longer has to worry about her safety and sanity anymore.

Gale doesn't see it himself since he spends most of his day working at the mine, but he gets reports from Prim every night when he arrives at the Everdeen household. She informs Gale that Katniss has started eating and going to the Hob and talking to her family more and more everyday. She also tells Gale how grateful she is for his presence because she didn't think she could handle Katniss being so broken for much longer.

Every night Katniss opens up to him a little more. It starts with small things, like stories about Prim and her parents from when she was younger. Eventually she starts telling Gale deeper and more personal things though, like how she felt when her father died and how her mother refused to move or do anything and how it tore Katniss apart, thinking that there was no one left to provide and support their family anymore.

It's one of the few times in Gale's life where he feels happy and like everything is perfect. Which is probably why something goes wrong.

He's almost done with his work at the mine that day, and his mind starts wandering to Katniss. He thinks about how calm and content she seems for the first time since she came home, and how _he's_ the one that did that. And then he starts thinking about the kiss they shared, before she declared that she didn't want to be friends with him anymore.

He swears that she had kissed back, but that could have just been his imagination. Is there some way, though, that Katniss might feel the same way about him? He's almost certain that she's been moving closer every night since they started sleeping together, and he remembers one morning where he woke up and she was on top of him, her arms squeezed around his middle as if she was holding on to him for dear life.

He's so busy thinking about all of this that he doesn't notice his partner yelling at him and ordering him to get out of the way. He's so busy wondering about Katniss and a possible future with her that he doesn't see the rock above him falling until it's too late.

***

The lights are dim and his head is throbbing with pain. He blinks a couple of times, and looks around at his surroundings. It seems slightly familiar to him, but he can't quite figure it out yet. He tries sitting up, but as soon as he does his head starts spinning and his aching body screams in protest.

"Lie back down, Gale," a familiar, soothing voice orders. He feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, easing him back down on a bed that he's sure isn't his.

He feels as if there are heavy weights at the ends of his eyelids, trying to pull them down and he feels so, so tired. He closes his eyes, ready to let the exhaustion take over his body, when he feels a light slap on his shoulder.

"I can't let you fall asleep," the voice tells him apologetically. "I know you're tired, but you have a lot internal bleeding and if you fall back asleep again you might not wake up. Okay?"

"Yes," he says, his voice coming out weak and raspy, as if something had crushed his lungs, reducing his ability to speak.

"So, um, just open your eyes and talk to me to stay awake," the voice says.

Gale opens his eyes, but it's difficult to keep them open. Somehow he does, and he looks over at the other person. His mind feels foggy, and it's hard for him to figure out who this person in front of him is, but he definitely knows her from somewhere.

"Where am I?" he croaks.

"You're at our home," she says.

“‘our'?" he questions.

"The Everdeens," she tells him.

The Everdeens. As in Katniss and her family. But the woman in front of him definitely isn't Katniss, and he can't remember the names of the rest of her family.

"And you are?" he asks.

"It's Prim," she says.

Now he remembers. He smiles at her, and sees her smile back. "Prim," he says, then frowns. "Where's Katniss? Is she okay?"

Prim bites her lip and pauses. "She's fine, but she's been begging to see you."

"Well can I?" Gale asks. "Can I see her? Please?"

Prim looks reluctant as she shakes her head, apology written on her face. "I'm sorry, but I think it'd be best if we waited until you were fully recovered before you saw her."

"What happened to me anyway?"

"There was a cave-in at the mine," Prim informs him. "A rock fell on you and crushed you. You were really lucky though. If it had fallen on your head you would have died. Lucky for you, you were leaning over and it fell on your back."

Lucky. He doesn't think that having a boulder fall on you is all that lucky, but he realizes that Prim is right. It could have been a lot worse. If it had, then he might not have ever seen Prim's sweet, smiling face, or tasted Mrs. Everdeen's cooking, or gotten to spend another night with Katniss ever again. And for that, he is lucky.

He talks with Prim some more, asks her about school and how she's enjoying being trained as a doctor. After some time, Mrs. Everdeen comes in and treats him, then lets him know that the internal bleeding has finally stopped and he can go back to sleep.

When he wakes up again it's to a smooth, mellifluous voice singing.

He doesn't open his eyes yet, drowning himself in that soft, comforting of hers. He waits as she finishes her song, knowing that if he wakes up then she'll stop singing. She's always been embarrassed about her singing voice, thinking that it's weak and gruff, but Gale thinks that it's one of his favorite things about her.

Katniss finishes her song, something that Gale doesn't recognize, and Gale opens his eyes. He smiles at her, but she just stares at him in something like awe. But that can't be, why would she possibly be looking at him like that--

And then her lips are on his. The pressure is light, like she's afraid that he's going to reject her or that she's going to hurt him. It takes him a second to get over the initial shock that Katniss is kissing him, but when he does he presses harder, and reaches up to curl a hand around the back of her neck to pull her in further.

He starts to lean up to kiss her back with equal force, but he realizes what a huge mistake that is when his back starts screaming with pain.

"Fuck," Gale groans, and lies back down on the bed.

"I'm guessing that's not a good 'fuck'," Katniss says, biting her lip worriedly. "One second." She stands up and comes back with some morphling. "Hold still."

Gale tries to remain as still as he can as the syringe needle pierces his skin and Katniss injects the drug.

"Where did you get that?" Gale asks her as she turns around to put it away.

"My mom requested some to treat you," Katniss explains as she sits back down in the chair beside the bed. Gale realizes right then that he's actually in Katniss' bed.

"So..." Katniss says, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"So," Gale repeats, and if anyone asks, he'll blame it on the drugs when he blurts, "What was that kiss all about?"

Katniss' face turns bright red, a color Gale has never seen on her face before, but he still think she looks beautiful.

"I don't know," she mumbles. "I just-- when I heard about the accident and that you might have died it got me thinking about what life would be like without you. And I couldn't stand the thought of not having you around, never being able to share my secrets with anyone ever again, not having someone to sleep with at night. I can't lose you, Gale. I don't know what I would do if I did."

Gale smiles and moves so he's just on one side of the bed. Katniss takes the hint and gets on the bed beside him. He waits for her to curl up against his side like she usually does, but instead she wraps her arms around him and he settles against her side. It's nice, having her strong, comforting arms wrapped around her and taking comfort in the fact that she's right there for him.

They're silent for some time, but it's okay. This is what they're used to now, being tangled up in each other and just breathing in the other's comforting presence.

Finally, Gale speaks up. "You know, that's how I felt watching you in the Games."

Gale feels Katniss' chest vibrate underneath his head as she hums. "What was how you felt?"

"What you said before," Gale says, "about how you couldn't stand the thought of living without me. That was how I felt the entire time you were away. Fear took over my life during that week. I couldn't do anything, wondering if I would I ever see you again, certain that I wouldn't. And then you won. And Katniss, you have no idea, no _fucking_ idea, how happy I was when they announced your victory. And when you stepped off that train, all I wanted to do was run up and wrap you in my arms and kiss you because I was so close to losing you, and I never want to risk that ever again."

Katniss is silent for a while and Gale wonders if he's said too much. But then she says, "You should have."

Gale lifts his head slightly and stares at her in disbelief. But instead of elaborating she just smiles, kisses him, and then closes her eyes and goes to sleep.

***

Gale stays at the Everdeens' during the next few weeks while he recovers. He doesn't mind getting to stay in bed all day, kissing Katniss whenever he gets the chance (which is quite often considering Katniss doesn't want to spend too much time away from him either).

Despite his body's aches and pains, it's the best he's ever felt in a long time, and he never wants it to end.

But of course, all good things must come to an end, and eventually he's deemed healthy enough to go back to work in the mines.

Katniss must not want him to go either because as soon as they go to bed after dinner, she pushes him down onto the bed and starts kissing him hungrily. Gale laughs into her mouth, but it turns into a moan when starts grinding down onto him, moving down from his lips to his neck.

"Katniss," he gasps, placing a hand on her shoulder and pushing her away from him.

She frowns. "What's wrong?"

He's about to say that maybe they should slow down, but to be honest, he really doesn't want to. However, at the same time, he doesn't want to rush into things when she still hasn't told him everything.

"Tell me about the arena," he requests.

She freezes and her eyes widen before she gets off of him and falls onto the bed beside him. "Wow, you really know how to kill a mood," she tries to joke, but her voice cracks and it comes out sounding hollow.

"Please," Gale begs. "You've told me everything else. You don't have to tell me, of course you don't, but I'd really like it if you did."

Katniss bites her lip and then sighs. "Okay I'll tell you. But only because I love you so much."

Gale's heart leaps at her words and he pulls her into a deep kiss. "I love you too," he murmurs against her lips.

Katniss smiles pulls away, pushing gently onto his back before resting her head on his chest. "I have to warn you, it's not exactly a bedtime story."

Gale smiles, loving the sensation of her drawing invisible patterns onto his stomach through his shirt. "That's okay."

"So, um, I'm not exactly sure where to start," Katniss breathes out a small chuckle. "I guess I should start at the beginning of the Games. At first, as you know, I was on my own, and I wasn't really sure what I was doing, I was just kind of wandering around trying not to get killed.

"And then I met Rue. She reminded me of Prim, and I wanted nothing more than to protect her and keep her from getting hurt. She was so sweet and innocent, she didn't belong in that arena/ I told myself that if it ended with just the two of us, that I would sacrifice myself so that she could win, regardless of my promise to Prim, because I couldn't bear the thought of her dying.

"But I failed." Katniss' voice cracks here and Gale looks down to see tears welling at the corners of her eyes. "She died and there wasn't anything I could do about it. And that was devastating because I felt that I had let everyone down: Rue, her family, myself, even Prim. I felt that if I couldn't protect and take care of Rue then how could I ever do the same for Prim?

"I had to get over it though, because if I didn't, then I would die and I couldn't keep my promise for Prim. And then they made that announcement about two tributes from the same district can win and my only thought was of Peeta."

Gale tries to keep the jealousy that surges through him at bay, but Katniss notices the way his body tenses anyway. She kisses his neck in reassurance before continuing.

"I cared about him deeply, because he was the only thing I had left in that arena, but I knew that I would never love him like I love you. I felt terribly about it, because I knew how much he cared about me and I would never care about him in the same way. But I had to give him the hope that I could if I wanted him to return home to his family, and have a happy life.

"Then the mutts came. We ran, as fast as we could, but with his injured leg, he just wasn't fast enough." Her voice catches in her throat and Gale grabs her hand and holds it tightly in his. "I watched from the top of the Cornucopia as the mutts tore his throat out. All I could think was, 'I could have saved him' and 'I let everyone down, I must be the most horrible person in the world'. Over and over, after the Games, on the train ride home, all that ran through my mind was 'it's all my fault, I could have saved him'."

Gale tightens the arm that he has wrapped around Katniss' body and waits as she cries. He knows that he's the only person she can cry in front of. She has to be strong for her mother and Prim, and he's the only one that she's not ashamed to be honest and totally herself with.

He's not how it happens, but soon they're kissing passionately, Katniss now completely on top of him. She grinds against him again, but this time it doesn't feel rushed and like they're trying to do this all before they lose their chance. This time, they move together fluidly and it feels just right.

They undress each other slowly, Katniss kissing down Gale's bare chest and stroking his length slowly, Gale gasping breathlessly.

She lets Gale roll them over before he pushes inside of her as slowly as he can. She groans at the sensation of him inside of her, and he doesn't hesitate to speed up in his movements.

She flips them over suddenly, and kisses Gale as she grinds down on him. He's gasping and moaning her name because it's the only thing he can remember.

They breathe heavily as they're coming down from their highs, Katniss running her fingers through Gales' hair.

She curls up against his side, throwing an arm across his stomach and kissing his shoulder softly. Gale rests chin on top of her head, running his hand up and down her back.

They fall asleep like that, perfectly content in what feels like the first time in forever.

***

The first day back at the mine after his accident is one of the hardest and longest days of Gale's life. They don't work him as hard as they normally would, knowing that his body still isn't totally ready for that kind of arduous labor, but it's awful nonetheless.

When he gets off of work he goes home, changes out of his work clothes, and goes straight to Katniss' house. Mrs. Everdeen makes a special meal just for him, and he falls asleep cradled in Katniss' loving arms, too tired to do anything else.

He wakes up the next morning to someone stroking his arm. He opens his eyes and is surprised when he sees Katniss standing in front of him wearing her hunting clothes and holding her bow in her right hand.

Gale gapes at her but she just smiles and offers him her free hand. "C'mon. I haven't gone hunting in forever."

Gale grins back at her, because Katniss' happiness is infectious, and quickly gets dressed before following her out the door and toward the woods. They're smiling the whole way over, and as they pass through the hole, and as they race to their favorite hunting spot.

They sit on the ground, their backs against the trunk of a large tree, fingers tightly wound as they watch for game. Some animals pass, but neither of them have it in them to jump up and shoot at them.

Katniss is resting her head on Gale's shoulder, her fingers running up and down Gale's arm and humming under her breath.

"I should probably get ready for work soon," Gale comments, but makes no move to leave.

Katniss sighs and kisses his shoulder. "I wish we could stay here forever."

Gale squeezes her hand. "One day we will." He kisses her, telling her without words just how much he loves her. "I promise."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I hope that was okay :)


End file.
